Tuesday, May 24, 2016

The M Word and Why It Shouldn't Be Taboo



Masturbation!

How many of you cringed reading that? If you did, then you still have some of your puritanical upbringing to blame.

It's been proven by science that masturbation is healthy. So why do we still wince when we see the word? What is it about getting ourselves off that makes us so squeamish?

I'm not asking because I have all the answers. On the contrary, it's something that even I have issues announcing to people. I even keep doing it a secret thing from my husband, and we've been together since 2009!

But maybe there's a reason I don't tell him. While I don't think it's something we should be ashamed of, I do think there's something that is very personal and very relaxing about exploring and experiencing our own bodies.

We're not under pressure to perform when we're engaged in this type of self love. We don't have to answer to any weird fantasies we have. We can take as long as we want (or as quickly as we want) to come and get it over-with.

I've been masturbating since before I even knew what masturbating was. All I knew about it was that when I rubbed against something in such a way, it felt good. It wasn't until later on that I realized I was masturbating!

So if it's something that is so natural, something that we inherently know how to do even before we can put a name to it, why then do we still think it's so naughty? Even people like me who are liberated, sexually, who have no issues with sex with other people, still feel awkward when admitting to another person that they masturbate.

I wonder what the deal is. Is it culture? Do you think we'll ever reach a point where it's openly accepted as something normal?

What do you think? Are you willing to admit that you do it, and if so, contribute to the conversation? Feel free to leave a comment!

XOXO

Scarlett


32 comments:

  1. You are right in it being highly personal but I don't announce it. I would be honest and say yes I do and not as often as I would like. Main reason I don't want to emasculate my spouse. But I have needs that aren't being met so hello BOB good point Scatlett

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think it's a very separate thing! But I do know what you mean!

      Delete
  2. I like calling it masturbation, but it makes me uncomfortable that in the 21st Century people have to say M-word, like the Big-O for orgasm. Shame about sexuality is a learned behavior. But I agree that masturbation is completely natural. And let's face it, we all do it. Right?!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Great post!! I grew up with it being taboo. Never discussed, never did as of until a few years ago when my sexual needs were not being met. I see it as being nothing wrong with it as it relieves stress. It doesn't bother me to talk about it to others as it is a natural thing. I write about it so why not talk about it?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It totally does relieve stress! It's great for the immune system and releases feelings of euphoria. Why do drugs when you can do something so natural?

      Delete
  4. I think masturbation is healthy normal & fun!!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. I think almost all my stories have a masturbation scene in it. It's enjoyable to do just as much as it's enjoyable to watch someone else do it. Personally, I find watching someone climax or reading about it, incredibly sexy. One should never feel ashamed of giving thyself a mind-blowing orgasm.


    Oh, and virgin coconut oil is a masturbator's best friend. Trust me. ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think it's sexy, too ;) And, oh, coconut oil?? I will have to try that! I love coconut :)

      Delete
    2. It's also super awesome for oral and sex. :P

      * Not good used with condoms though. #sadtrombone

      Delete
  6. Safest form of sex there is and you can't get pregnant ;-)

    ReplyDelete
  7. The one thing we own for sure in our lives is our own body. We strive our entire lives to know our hearts, our minds, what it takes to keep our corporeal shell healthy and yet the act of self-satisfying masturbation has been made to seem "dirty" and "morally wrong" - something meant to never be discussed outside the confines of own bedroom, if at all. Is it any wonder then that so many of our partners haven't the faintest idea how to satisfy our needs when we're either not talking about it or engaging in it ourselves to discover what it takes each of us to get off? If we don't ever experiment with masturbation, how can we be expected to guide our partners in their pursuit of our pleasure? Get on with it people! Play! Discover what it takes and then tell your partner - better still, show them. Enjoy!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Precisely! It's a great way to find out what we like!

      Delete
  8. Great post. Scarlett. First of all, if you don't masturbate, you cannot help a partner discover what you like. Understanding what your body needs is paramount. Second, after I masturbate I'm relaxed and can focus better on almost anything I have to do. When I don't masturbate, I am ornery and distracted. Third, science or not, it makes me feel and look healthy--flushed cheeks, heart-racing exercise, and it keeps me away from indulging in things like sweets or alcohol. The only problem is you can't exactly do it at a party, out in the open. Sadly--so in those instances, I do stick with the sweets and wine! ;)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahah! I guess you could always sneak away to the bathroom at those parties...? :-D

      Delete
  9. I agree it's a separate thing that a person keeps to themselves, and doesn't want to share with their SO for whatever reason. My girlfriend probably wouldn't mind, but I know there are personal things we don't share, and I am fine with that.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Never heard it called the M word! I agree with Kat! Safest form of sex.

    ReplyDelete
  11. What a great post, Scarlett, one long overdue. Like you, I began early and learned a thing or two as I matured. By the way, I didn't cringe when I read the graphic, but I'll confess my eyes roamed to my toy box. Go you!!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I notice most of your comments are from women. It's interesting but while most women assume men do it more than women I think there is a greater taboo in men admitting to it as it is deemed (in that strange male way) indicates that you "can't get a woman". Nonsense, of course but it is sort of like a man not having a car and having to use public transport! I think maybe I need to do a post on it too, from the male point of view, before the end of masturbation month!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'd love for you to do a post from the male POV!

      Delete
    2. On Venus Observations!

      Delete
  13. Masturbation is a form of expression. You get in touch with yourself intimately and there are no burdens on what you enjoy sexually. I find it to be an important path to self discovery whether your young or old.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Agreed. I especially like it because of there being no burdens, like you said. Nobody to have to please, just yourself! :)

      Delete
  14. I've always enjoyed masterbation and still do it frequently while still satisfying my lovers.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think it's an important part of being able to please others - if you can please yourself!

      Delete